My momma is the 7th child in her family. And my grandma always told her that the 7th child is the lucky child, but also the sickly child. And she is. She was born with a heart murmur....a whole in her heart. She has had pneumonia twice. She had to have a hysterectomy two years ago cause she had fibroid tumors causing trouble. She has some kind of gastro intestinal disorder(which is where I get my stomach issues) and the wanted to do an invasive surgery at the beginning of the year but she declined. Three years ago she started having irregular mammograms. They had to do a biopsy. Found out it was benign but they put a chip in her breast to monitor the progression. Fast forward to Christmas Eve last year she had a mammogram. Irregular results. She goes back in for another in January. Irregular. Now she has a biopsy...a VERY invasive biopsy. That's last Tuesday. Yesterday she receives a letter from the radiology department. Her biopsy was irregular. And today...
We're awaiting the results. And to be honest...right now I'm just scared. And I know she is so tired of being sick. She said to me the other day that she just wants to go one year without being sick. Without having some kind of surgery. She said she wishes that she could just be well. It reminds me of Paul in Hebrews when he asked the Lord three times to remove the thorn in his side to remove his affliction. I just want my momma's affliction removed. I just want her made whole. I know in our weakness God is strong. I just want her strong. I don't understand why she has to suffer so much. I don't get it.....every year its something and I just want my momma to see the babies grow up. And I want her to be healthy and whole like my grandma. My grandma made 79 wednesday. She doesn't have the illnesses and sickness like my momma family. I'm scared. I want her to stop being sick. My friends mommas aren't always sick. Why my mama always sick. I'm sorry. This sounds crazy but its my thoughts right now.
Pray for us....
2.13.2009
2.04.2009
i think i may have an eating disorder...hmmm....
Okay this is a quickie.... As we all know my relationship with food aint the best before I would eat emotionally to satisfy whatever I was feeling at that moment...now I'm having trouble committing to a meal outside of breakfast....which I smash!!!
Last week I could only eat a fourth of my chinese food...I had it for lunch/dinner the next morning for breakfast again for lunch and later on for dinner....it was a friggin lunch combo....
But the problem is at my current gig we don't have time for lunch breaks...my homegirl is a BEAST with them numbers (www.taxesetc.net if you need them taxes prepared!!) But anyway we are often so swamped its hard to take a break...so by the time I get home I am stupid hungry...I'll eat something decide I'm still hungry eat more and end up praying to the porcelain throne...and it happens a few times a week....I'm beginning to wonder if I'm bulemic...I mean the only thing is I don't have to make myself do it...its like my body is rejecting the extras....hmmm this can't be a good thing right?!?
I need feedback cause I don't have insurance so I'll have to go to the board of health for further diagnostics if the jury doesn't help me here...
Dah well sleep is calling and I musnt keep her waiting....
Ciao until later....
Last week I could only eat a fourth of my chinese food...I had it for lunch/dinner the next morning for breakfast again for lunch and later on for dinner....it was a friggin lunch combo....
But the problem is at my current gig we don't have time for lunch breaks...my homegirl is a BEAST with them numbers (www.taxesetc.net if you need them taxes prepared!!) But anyway we are often so swamped its hard to take a break...so by the time I get home I am stupid hungry...I'll eat something decide I'm still hungry eat more and end up praying to the porcelain throne...and it happens a few times a week....I'm beginning to wonder if I'm bulemic...I mean the only thing is I don't have to make myself do it...its like my body is rejecting the extras....hmmm this can't be a good thing right?!?
I need feedback cause I don't have insurance so I'll have to go to the board of health for further diagnostics if the jury doesn't help me here...
Dah well sleep is calling and I musnt keep her waiting....
Ciao until later....
2.02.2009
soooo...you fucking ya cousin now?!?
Peace fam!
How are ya? Well I had such an interesting weekend I felt obligated to tell yall all about it...
Well everyone knows that my primary running buddy is my cousin and homie Drexel Red...no matter where I'm going I feel like him and his band of merry men ought to be along for the ride...I even spent my birthday with them... I know you all are wondering why I'm giving you all so much info...
But anyway my cousin texted me saturday evening asking if I wanted to hang out...well after spending the day with Shirley(my lovely lovely momma) I knew I could use some unwinding at the club and figured spendin the evening at Mixx wouldn't be a bad idea since cousin's friend told me the spot was known for its eye candy...
We get to the club only to find out there were only 7 people there...why you ask cause they were charging 20 bucks a pop...like dude its a recession, that's a pair of jeans...gotta think in those terms these days...anyway we end up at a hipster party down the street where I see mah mini me out and about with her homegirls kickin it...it was surreal at first considering she's a mini version of me and I know she had no business in the club but hell I was in clubs at her age so what can I say?!?
Anyway my cousin is feeling great insistenting on buyin drinks for everyone...including the ragatag hoe du jour that accompanied us this weekend...for purposes of not being the bitch I am I'll call the little hoe Stankee...yeah I did it...
Anyway typical of a silly little slore she drinks up all night as though she doesn't have to drive home...which means...yep you've guessed it the heifer begs mah cousin to drive her and her homegirl home...which I wouldve cared less about except mah house keys were back in mah cousin's car since we rode with his homeboi and had I went with him then I wouldve had to wait uo till my cousin got back from 5000 North for those that aint from chicago that's 50 blocks north of the middle of city and we all live between 93-96 blocks SOUTH of the city...yeah a hellified long way away!
Anyway to avoid inconveniencing J I end up riding north with cousin and Stankee...(I already didn't like her cause the last time we all hung out she spent the entire evening texting abd on the phone even though she was supposed to be out with mah cousin...and she wouldn't even dance with him...why the hell are you at the club if you don't dance?!) So needless to say I don't care for the chick anyway as soon as we ride to the North Pole to drop off her friend this bitch jumps on the phone asking about some dude at some other party...while mah cousin is driving her car.....
W
T
F
?!?
Needless to say Drexel Red is a drunk black man and he promptly asks her why she asking about other ninjahs when he right there...this broad gets an attitude talking about staying in ya place...well long story short they go back and forth and I'm thinking this fool gonna smash up Stankee's car and I didn't feel like being bothered with the dumb shit so I grabbed his shoulder like let this shit go homie....then Stankee puts her hand on him... Not a good look homie....he tells her ass get ya fucking hands off me and she finally does and gives me the look of death...throughout the rest of the ride I'm done with the hoe...talking to mah cousin and riding along with the whore giving me sideways glances...
We get to the car I get in mah cousin's car ans chill while they talked it out...
When he gets back to the car and he's talking about their convo...and he says to me that Stankee has decided that we are fucking...after telling her she's insane she says if yall aint fucking then she wanna fuck you...ha ha ha then she says well if you gonna be with me...then...
The bitch needs to be put in her place...
Right....bitch needs to be put in her place?!?
Needless to say I'm still waiting to figure out what bitch needs to be put where...
Alright I gotta go...Gossip Girl is coming on and I have to be ready for that...
I'll be back thursday to let yall know how the pics from today's photo shoot went....
Told yall I'm a model now yall...ha ha ha ha!!!
How are ya? Well I had such an interesting weekend I felt obligated to tell yall all about it...
Well everyone knows that my primary running buddy is my cousin and homie Drexel Red...no matter where I'm going I feel like him and his band of merry men ought to be along for the ride...I even spent my birthday with them... I know you all are wondering why I'm giving you all so much info...
But anyway my cousin texted me saturday evening asking if I wanted to hang out...well after spending the day with Shirley(my lovely lovely momma) I knew I could use some unwinding at the club and figured spendin the evening at Mixx wouldn't be a bad idea since cousin's friend told me the spot was known for its eye candy...
We get to the club only to find out there were only 7 people there...why you ask cause they were charging 20 bucks a pop...like dude its a recession, that's a pair of jeans...gotta think in those terms these days...anyway we end up at a hipster party down the street where I see mah mini me out and about with her homegirls kickin it...it was surreal at first considering she's a mini version of me and I know she had no business in the club but hell I was in clubs at her age so what can I say?!?
Anyway my cousin is feeling great insistenting on buyin drinks for everyone...including the ragatag hoe du jour that accompanied us this weekend...for purposes of not being the bitch I am I'll call the little hoe Stankee...yeah I did it...
Anyway typical of a silly little slore she drinks up all night as though she doesn't have to drive home...which means...yep you've guessed it the heifer begs mah cousin to drive her and her homegirl home...which I wouldve cared less about except mah house keys were back in mah cousin's car since we rode with his homeboi and had I went with him then I wouldve had to wait uo till my cousin got back from 5000 North for those that aint from chicago that's 50 blocks north of the middle of city and we all live between 93-96 blocks SOUTH of the city...yeah a hellified long way away!
Anyway to avoid inconveniencing J I end up riding north with cousin and Stankee...(I already didn't like her cause the last time we all hung out she spent the entire evening texting abd on the phone even though she was supposed to be out with mah cousin...and she wouldn't even dance with him...why the hell are you at the club if you don't dance?!) So needless to say I don't care for the chick anyway as soon as we ride to the North Pole to drop off her friend this bitch jumps on the phone asking about some dude at some other party...while mah cousin is driving her car.....
W
T
F
?!?
Needless to say Drexel Red is a drunk black man and he promptly asks her why she asking about other ninjahs when he right there...this broad gets an attitude talking about staying in ya place...well long story short they go back and forth and I'm thinking this fool gonna smash up Stankee's car and I didn't feel like being bothered with the dumb shit so I grabbed his shoulder like let this shit go homie....then Stankee puts her hand on him... Not a good look homie....he tells her ass get ya fucking hands off me and she finally does and gives me the look of death...throughout the rest of the ride I'm done with the hoe...talking to mah cousin and riding along with the whore giving me sideways glances...
We get to the car I get in mah cousin's car ans chill while they talked it out...
When he gets back to the car and he's talking about their convo...and he says to me that Stankee has decided that we are fucking...after telling her she's insane she says if yall aint fucking then she wanna fuck you...ha ha ha then she says well if you gonna be with me...then...
The bitch needs to be put in her place...
Right....bitch needs to be put in her place?!?
Needless to say I'm still waiting to figure out what bitch needs to be put where...
Alright I gotta go...Gossip Girl is coming on and I have to be ready for that...
I'll be back thursday to let yall know how the pics from today's photo shoot went....
Told yall I'm a model now yall...ha ha ha ha!!!
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