my brain is moving way too much for me....

some days i sit and think perhaps this love thing is too much actually i know its too much so i've decided to settle only on liking...but something in my soul is resistant...it doesn't want the possibility of pain so it shuts down and stops me from feeling so because now i have this overwhelming urge to kick things into overdrive throw caution to the wind and just dig you fully but i don't know where you stand and i don't have the ability to just stand in and wait so i'm standing in the middle of road thinking that maybe once i'll do something different only i'm not even sure that i can...until i figure it out i'll stand look and hope that when i open my arms you are falling head first into them...

I found God in myself...and loved her...

So…yesterday I decided I was over having hair…I wanted…no probably needed to shed some skin…well…I did…and it was all over the floor of the barbershop much to the consternation of the lesser tressed sisters in the area…

Its funny though…I saw for the first time just how long and graceful my neck is…I never really paid attention to how long my lashes are ever…and this is w/out the aid of my Smashbox…

I wonder what else I will learn about me in the days to come....

Stay tuned...

my 5th grd creative writing teacher would be so proud...i learned to Free Right.....

standing in the center of a paradox....complete dominance border lined only by complete dependence somewhere between reality and pure dreams abstract in my thinking...alone in the center of a crowdsomething has been let loose in my soul and its welling inside of me trying to get out while still being held down i dont know what i am feeling cant believe what i am thinking and when i try to speak the words wont fall out only hearing and seeing never actually being something has sprung a leak and im not even certain i want to build a dam to close it up maybe this complete raw emotion is supposed to be just where it is doing doing what it is doing making and compelling me to a little bit more a little better maybe its the feeling coupled with the thinking that causing my overwhelming need to be thats causing this bitter breakup with apathy forcing a feeling that i have little control over made the bridge has been built and i didnt even realize it maybe time has stood still and moved around maybe i am not so full as ready to be filled i am a contradiction of sorts and ive always known that maybe now i can stand in the middle of the crowd alone but not lonely cause ive finally gotten a better idea of me



somehow these are the soundtracks for my today....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaNzxniXxYE