My younger sister friend is having a moment regarding the changes that are taking place in her friendships....
Her sun sign is Cancer & invariably she's very emotional & takes loyalty very seriously...
And watching her go through these changes & growing pains I have began reflections on what friendship is(not) in my world....
My mother has always told me that I am too hasty to walk away from friendships. My argument to that is always: how many times do you touch a hot stove before you realize it's both hot & an uncomfortable feeling?
Generally you don't stand with your fingers on a hot stove for weeks or months.... Hell even hours to figure out that it doesn't feel good.... Why do we do it in friendships?
Just like in a romantic relationship we're told to look for signs of abuse & misuse and when we see it we need to run like the wind, why don't we apply these same thoughts to friendships?
Just because someone has been around since you were both knee high to a pigeon doesn't mean that they need to be around now that you're adults.
I had a really good friend whom I loved & cherished as a friend, however once she graduated from graduate school our relationship began to visibly fizzle, but honestly we hadn't truly been friends for several years before that. It came as no surprise that when she got married I wasn't counted among the maids, but everyone else around us kept questioning... But you two have been friends for sooo long... And it's like... We've known each other so long, but friends? It's a stretch.
Now she's a married mother & our communication is through birthday & Christmas texts & occasional comments on Facebook. I have no problem with it, but our families still attempt to force the relationship when really there's nothing to force. My mama is always asking if I've called or contacted her, as if I am the only person capable of reaching out.... If this was a romantic interest everyone would say to me: they're just not that into you... You're trying to force a relationship that isn't there.... Etc.... But why can't we make these same acknowledgements in friendships?
I am willing to walk away from anyone that makes me uncomfortable & less than no matter how long the relationship has lasted.
And to that end
I will readily cling & hold on to any friend that I know loves me & wants the best for me no matter if I met them 23 years ago or this past August.
At some point we've got to realize that the reason season lifetime statement isn't a random cliche people write in cards or on cutesy little wall hangings. It's truth. In a sweet little cliched form.
And when you figure out that maybe you were there for a reason in their lives that has nothing to do with you, or the other person's season has ended.... The more you rage against this machine the more you'll hurt yourself.
Yes. Occasionally you'll send them a text to say hi, or a Facebook wall post... That's normal. It's no different than your tongue randomly searching for a tooth that was pulled six years ago... Because both you & your tongue remember when something more was there... But when you try it again you realize like your gums have created a seal over that space so has time sealed that person out of your life... And you'll be back to normal once again.....
From God's Lips To Mine.....
