You are sooo.....

Beautiful...pretty...gorgeous....etc...etc...etc...
These are words that people use to describe me. Daily.
It isn't unusual for a stranger to walk up to me and tell me how pretty or beautiful I am. I hear about the unusual shape of my eyes my high cheekbones the structure of my face everything. I hear it. I'm often complimented on my sense of style. Being told "everyone can't wear that" or "you have a style that's able to make that fly"

This is normal for me. I am not going to fake & pretend that its not normal for me. I am not saying that I'm immune to this, but I do know that I am clearly an attractive person. But. That's as far as it goes for me.

However Saturday night. I was told all about myself. By two strangers. People I have never met or seen before.

After getting my party started at my grammar school reuninon, my cousin & I headed to Beauty Bar up on the northside. We were nice & gone. The pre-drinking was very effective to the point where I knew I couldn't put my heels on and walk across the street, let alone walk in the club & dance.
We walked across the street & came smack dab in front of two of the CUTEST little geigh bois I've ever seen! Lawd they were so cute! And fly lawd they were fly.
They stopped me to tell me how much they loved my jumper. While talking to them I dropped my purse. And because it was my purse I immediately stooped down and grabbed my bag up. Lawd why did I do that?!?

They.
Went.
In.
"You are beautiful!" "We are men and we are supposed to get that!" "Don't you ever do that again." Etc. Etc. Etc.

From there they went on a diatribe about how beautiful I am how I deserve to know how beautiful I am that I shouldn't underestimate my beauty and everything else.
I was amazed and taken aback because a simple act of me dropping & picking up my purse has led them to me and telling me this about myself.

I wished that they were wrong. I went inside the club danced moved and enjoyed the time, but in the back of my mind I continued to hear those two bois telling me all about myself. Reading me.

And I wondered.


Do I disown my beauty?

Do I not understand my beauty?

Have I become immune to the idea that I may actually be beautiful?

I often wonder if I was smaller if there was less of me would I be more receptive to the idea of my beauty?
Like I said before I am told daily that I am beautiful yet it never changes how I respond. I am still amazed. And surprised when people tell me how beautiful I am.

Maybe one day I'll learn to embrace my beauty and walk in this beauty.

Or maybe because of my mental make up I'll never become immune to the shock of knowing or hearing that many people think that I am beautiful....

Dear 50Tyson's Mama....

If you don't know who 50Tyson is, please by all means google the name, because I simply refuse to hyperlink anything of his to my blog. Gotta keep it a little pure..except his twitter page is http:twitter.com/thereal50tyson cause he clearly got so many imposters....yet again....what in the hell?!?.

Anyway...I am addressing the following note to his mama for all that he has shared w/the world....


Dear 50Tyson's Mama or Grandma that prolly didn't want to raise yet another one of your daughter's chirren, but you are a God-fearing woman steadfast in the glory....

Why would you allow your obviously retarded son to spend time alone in the bathroom w/a camera? Have you not noticed that he spends way too much time in the bathroom alone?
I mean unless he's in there knocking one off, he shouldn't be allowed to be alone in the bathroom for more than 2 minutes at a time. And NEVER w/a camera.
And. Why can't he count? Somewhere between 15,16, &17 something went terribly wrong, I mean there are hundreds of thousands of people that have seen your son/grandson miscount his age?
I think everytime someone clicks on his youtube video or he tweets a little black child & heaven loses their wings...its really unfortunate & mean that you have yet to stop him from this level of fuckery.

And speaking of fuckery....I was originally confused by his moniker until I saw his face. Is there something that 50 cent & Mike Tyson need to share w/us? Cause this boy looks like he may be their love child.
Its kind of unsettling. Ma'am did you happen to mate w/both of those "gentlemen" within a short period of time & now we have a peculiar amalgamation of the two? Because ma'am you've failed us & your son for that mating....

Now that we've outlined your offenses, could you please please see to it that your son is only allowed to use the toilet w/the door open to ensure that he doesn't smuggle a camera in with him?
Also. I'm begging you on behalf of the little African children in heaven, that you disconnect his internet connection, disable his myspace(why does he still have a fucking myspace--unfuckingacceptable!) And disassemble his camera while burning his memory card, for fear that he may attempt to upload supressed files.
And. Could you possibly get him some flash cards? I mean I'm sure my 6 year old nephew has some left over from Pre-K. We gonna need him to count past 16 if he's gonna try his hand at "playing ball".

And while I know we don't need any more black boy's aspiring to play ball...the alternative of him speaking & rapping is far worst.

So please ma'am. We'd appreciate your repairing these infraction IMMEDIATELY!!!


W/love and hope for the future children whose dreams Antonio Davis is killing w/his raps & tweets....

Smooches & Shit

1uppitynegress

Porn Star?!? Not you sir....try again....

The other night as was the custom, we were having pre poetry conversation before my play mama's weekly open mic.
This week were happened to be talking about Montana *Chippy D* Fishburne & her new porn career...the main discussion centered on whether or not it made sense for Morpheus to disown his daughter in light of her new career.
Well...as we discussed this little skinty "poet" boi comes in. He asks us the topic. We tell him....he says he couldn't judge Monatana cause he's a former porn star himself.

*pause*


*page break*





and all that.


You were a porn star?!? Really?!? For real?!?

Naturally y'all know I went in for this one...he was a porn star?!? But he's all 19-20....porn star?!?
Yeah. I did A movie w/my homies down in ATL....



One. Movie?!? And you're calling yourself a PORNstar?!?!?

Now I ain't all that familiar w/porns...(My formers were more into hood shit & white people's movies are just too damn involved) but a porn star?!?
But I knew enough to know one movie don't make you no gat damn PornStar!!!


Eventually he had to admit, him & his boys were throwing fucking parties, though he called em "swinger parties"--again he's barely out of high school...they were fucking parties...and they made a movie. With some chick that went on to do a movie w/Wesley Pipes.

So yeah. From porn star to dude that had sex on a tape w/a future hoe....

I told him if he was a porn star then I knew a bunch of porn stars....considering the number of my whorish peers that had sex on tape....and they all did it more than once....shout out to one in particular cause in 2000/2001 she did bout 5 flicks w/these dudes....guess she should call herself the next Jenna James or Vanessa Del Rio....

By the time I finished w/the kid he ain't wanna answer any more questions. Maybe next time he won't call himself a porn star...but instead admit he had sex on tape in front of his boys.....or maybe he'll just STFU cause that ain't much better huh?!?

Only in my life....

Have a good week....my mimosa bellini combo is ensuring I do....

*smooches & shit*

hey there good people.....

Its so funny to me when someone mentions my blog or I get a notification of a comment. I've become so accustomed to tweeting that I often forget that I have this here little ditty here.

Especially when you think about the bloggers that are far more consistent w/their updating. And them folks on tumblr. Lawd. I decided no more new social networks for me. Far too overwhelming.
But every now and again its interesting to have more than 140 characters to speak or think, even though most days I still manage to keep it to the 140 character minimum.

Its funny.

I guess that's become my normal. That's cool.

Spent the past few hours in my mama's bed talking to her.
She's explaining to me that she has decided my preferred existence would be a town w/only men and the women they date. I need to be surrounded & shrouded by my male friends because truly those are the only people that understand me and the only people I understand.
This is like the 3rd or 4th time she's made this comment to me in the past three weeks. I keep trying to dispute her and say "men can be just as dramatic as women" and she says and for that drama that's why you have gay bois. What can I say in response? She's absolutely right.
I guess she's remembering as far back as I can remember my closest or most normal friendships for me were w/boys.
Even the stupid boys that got to middle school & started their dumb ass campaigns against male female friendships she knows that male just mesh better with me. Even though I would rather watch Project Runway & Rachel Zoe, I have no problem going to a sports bar & chilling w/my boys as they watch the game. (I mean let's be for real I'll occasionally watch, but I'll mostly tweet & email...honesty folks....)

Hmph. She is mama. So she does know a lot.

I just wonder if I can get the bffs and their wives to all move to the same remote location.....that way I don't have to be bothered w/outside women folks til I decide I wanna be bothered....
Even more than that...I wonder if the future Uppity Negro will adjust to this lifestyle?!?!?


Guess I need to get back in Uppity Mama's bed in a few weeks and find out....


Nice. Chatting it up w/ y'all...I need to go and start getting ready...there's mucho to do in Chicago today & I need to be a part of it all....


Ciao Bellas & Beaus