Not Really a Resolution... But a Resolved Solution....

So of course I'm off today doing shit with my life.... And I'm scrolling my Facebook news feed... My homegirl who has been having a particularly shitty go at relationshits of late wrote asking how she could choose awesome friends, great lovers, but fucked up partners.... Of course I'm beyond the point in my life where I am going to step up to that paradigm of mind boggling whatever. But. What I did do was give her my thoughts on where that shit leads. I mean cause honestly if we are going to do that, we gotta realize how that shit effects us. And I'm tired of being effected so fully & negatively by relationshit. Ive decided I'll take 2012 the same way I took 2011 in stride. I'm timed f being hurt & let's just be honest at 30 I'm tired of even being bothered. I figure you gonna take me as I am or get the boot. I am over crying bashing crashing my heart into the wall... Well anyway... This was the resolved solution I shared... And hopefully it doesn't sound too much like something I've said before, but if it is, it means I'm still looking my goal squarely in the face & I'm refusing to give up on what makes me fulfilled & happy. And honestly ain't that kinda where we all need to be anyway?!?

"At 30 after much soul searching hurt feelings bitching bashing sessions I have decided if 2012 brings me all that 2011 brought include awesome adventures great trips random explorations lots of laughs cool experiences & even doper people to share these experiences with, while yet alone... I'll take it. Because I refuse to continue wondering whining pining hurting asking why or what went wrong & when & how I can stop it from happening again. I have fully realized this year that my love is too full too voluptuous too righteous too honest too open too passionate too real & too free to be trampled over to be cast away to spend my time wondering how this time could have been different. I have dated the same person since I was 19, they've all had different names different faces different "issues" but they've all been the same brooding emotionally unavailable person. And I have learned I don't deserve that... So until I meet & receive who I deserve I will fly this journey solo & I will enjoy it... Because really what choice do I have otherwise?"

From God's Lips to Mine....