the day I realized I was beautiful...and other realizations....

The other day as I was folding sweaters at Macy's contemplating jumping over the ledge into the cosmetic department to reduce the amount of boredom overwhelming my life I realized someone was looking at me...wait...not looking but peering...into my soul clearly...I turned and smiled at the customer and only received a heavy eye roll and a huge "bitch please sigh".... I shrugged my shoulders and kept it moving...only to have this scenario repeated at least four more times that day...and then the following day after running down the street to catch the bus cause of course bustracker didn't bother to tell me that the 14 would go from 9 minutes away to "due" in about 17 seconds...I jump onto the bus breathing heavy like a 500 lb boar....I turn and catch eye contact with a sister...I tried to smile through the heavy breathing and only received heavy eye rolls....from two other chicks...
this is the look i get most days from strangers....

As I sat down on the bus I begin to realize these particular heifer's are tall and skinty...prolly have a better chance at becoming a high fashion model then graduating from Harvard..I'm talking pretty gals have been giving me the evil eye...
Now...I know that I'm pretty...you know? but ummmm I'm about 5'1....and ___lbs....and not anything near a fashion model....here's a picture just to prove my point:


yeah...I'm the juicy one on the right....as if I was mahrried...lol! Anyway...I forgot to mention...I've been nappy headed since the 90's...always been a weirdo is what my close family and friends say....but yet I am ALWAYS met with disdain from other women! It was at that moment as I tried to catch my breath I realized..."bitch you is pretty!!" Like that for real unintentional pretty...the kind of pretty that must catch folks off guard or at least make them insecure about their own beauty...and I thought...hmm...that's pretty cool...I mean...how often does one realize that they are pretty enough to make others meet them with immediate anger and irritation?!?!?!?
I often walk into the room and conversations fade...I don't think its cause I'm so fly either...at least I never did before...but ummm...maybe I am?!?! Who knows...

Upon realizing that I am a pretty damn fly chica, I also realized that no matter how much I starve myself...no matter how much hummus and pita I eat...which is my FAVE!!!! I will never ever ever ever ever be a skinty biche! Its not in my future....

Here's why:
I am highly intelligent
My skin is pretty effing flawless
me no make up and prolly no sleep either...

and we already realized that I'm pretty from earlier....
there's a super hooker deep inside my soul that given the opportunity would prolly cause all kinds of problem...
so yeah...with all these factors...among others...I realized I'll prolly never be super skinty...

I mean...imagine me skinty? Yeah I'd be out here all kinds of nekkid...even in the winter time I'd be walking around with pneumonia in the cooter like no joke...hmmm....

dah well....this is my realizations that I've had the past few weeks...cause you know I'm highly evolved and shit....lol....


what have you been realizing?