"So Te how has everyone else reacted? And by everyone else, I mean guys?"

Talking to my bffs & her husband while visiting w/them & their brand new beautiful baby girl, we somehow got on the subject of my hair.* Well...not really somehow...my hair is something that always comes up w/me & him only cause its always something completely different from what he saw the last time...at least generally speaking.
But last night he asked me something no black person(he's mexican btw) has even thought to ask..."So Te how has everyone else reacted? And by everyone else, I mean guys?" (I should insert that my love life or lack there of is always a subject w/him& I...especially when I'm actually dating..ha!) I had to pause...cause it was so funny that he'd asked this soon after me thinking about the different reactions I receive from males & females. And I know that by nature most men love hair, as our femininity is associated w/hair, but I have definitely had mixed reactions from my male friends. They all acknowledge my beauty, guess cause that's an undeniable fact-no asswhole....but they still look as if they're longing for the days past when I had something for them to run their fingers through(ALL of my male friends play in my hair-regardless if there's a sexual affection or not-been that way since my youth-it ain't changing).
But on the other side, every single one of my female friends have told me how this hairstyle opens my face & allows my bone structure to seem amplified. Funny thing is I didn't realize how long my neck was until I sent a pic to my bff & she commented on the length & grace of my neckline...lol...I never thought that far...I was just tired of combing & maintaining my hair.
BFF's husband upon hearing my response said to me, "well I'd imagine it takes a certain amount of confidence to wear a style like that huh?" Never thought of it that way but I guess it does...a freedom w/in self I'd guess....I don't know for sure cause like I said I just woke up one day went to the barber shop & told him to cut it low...that's it...I wasn't liberating myself from a relationship, job, or anything else...I was just tired of worrying & fussing over hair. I've maintained the short cut for a while...but now for the spring I'm thinking of letting it grow some...or completely...who knows...

Funny that the first time I'm writing about my hair in months I'm rocking a wig over it cause its time for a new color...guess even when I'm trying to keep it low maintenance it still isn't...dah well...the paradoxes & dichotomy of my life keeps it interesting....

*to clarify I was sitting w/two of the three BFF's-but one of them is now married w/a brand new beautiful & gawgeous little angel!
peace...blessings....overstanding...knowledge.....freedom....

So...yeah...my love life huh?!?

Yesterday I hung out below the Mason Dixie...or at least what I consider below it...the only suburbs in Chicago not really accessible by public transportation...the south suburbs at my mama's house....

We always have a great time, and now that we no longer live together my momma sees these visits as her chance to find out everything in my life... And of course yesterday was no different...while riding to the grocery store my mom asks me about my "love life". I chuckled ruefully & wondered...so how does one answer this one? And then I told her the truth...there wasn't much of a love life to describe...for the past 2-3 yrs every guy I have dated or attempted to date has had an inability to adjust to my schedule & my complete lack of availability at some points....the one dude I was dating that could understand my life, seeing as his was just as tumultuous & complicated, had a serious of unfortunate events that led to him & I no longer being a "him & I".
I've learned that I need to be truthful w/guys that are interested in dating me, cause to have a dude try to take you out & for 6-10 consecutive days you have to remind him you work full time, attend school-full time, have two free lance operations-both of which equal a full time job....tends to make guys think you're not so interested in them.
I ran down my schedule to a dude the second time I was able to talk to him after meeting, he asked me at that point, "so why did you even give me your number, there's no way in hell I can squeeze into that schedule". What could I say? I bend & adjust for guys that are worth the trouble, but 2nd conversation in? I know nothing about you & whether or not you're worthy of my canceling appointments or doing homework at work so we can go out directly following work...
I've tried to better juggle my schedule...even reducing one load or another...but no matter what something or someone gets slighted & I feel like complete shit for doing it....

All of this went through my head when my mama asked me, "So Trice, what about YOUR love life, what's going on w/you?"

I simply nodded & said to her "w/my life right now, not very much..."
She wrinkled her forehead, and said, "but you're out of class & off work everyday but 9...why can't you just adjust some things...."
I could only nod & say "I know mommy....maybe one day though..."
And for now that's all I can say...maybe one day...but for now...my blackberry is the only "dude" I'm sleeping with these days....

Le Sigh....taking over the world is awesome...I won't complain...cause not many others can live my life & there are those that would happily trade me for it....

Dah well....
Toodles Smooches & Sixty Seven Grande Americanos loom before me...and I'm supposed to be working...not writing....until the other side of the moon....
peace...blessings....overstanding...knowledge.....freedom....